Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist KatFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Months
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 34 Deviations 123 Comments 790 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Literature
Absence
I’ll leave my chest open for anything,
and I swear I haven’t attached any strings.
I’m waiting for the feeling they promised me,
yet still it hasn’t come to set me free.
They describe it a perfect and perpetual,
a desire we’ll both find mutual.
They describe it as benevolent butterflies,
a sensation better than any drug-induced highs.
Yet in the absence of this emotion,
I’m starting to get the notion
that I’ve lost my heart,
or maybe it just needs some kind of kickstart.
And in the absence of this form of love,
I feel like a raven changed from a dove.
But maybe there is nothing truly wrong with this;
maybe I’m meant to steal away without a kiss.
Because in the absence of my heart,
I leave room for other works of art,
and as long as I am not without a good friend,
my cycle of true love will never come to an end.
Why waste my time with what isn’t real,
searching for an emotion
which people like me were never meant to feel?
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 2 0
Literature
Ode to Guilt
Oh, Guilt,
You are a blessing and a curse,
though I can’t tell which is truly worse.
You arrive at the worst of times,
turning my mind to those self-hate crimes.
You induce a state of humility
and erase all trace of tranquility.
Oh, Guilt,
with you my heart is in turmoil,
and I can feel stomach begin to boil.
I wonder if the acid hurts those butterflies,
making them rush past my throat and straight for my eyes.
With you my vision is a kaleidoscope,
diluting and distorting my last image of hope.
My eyelids must be their fluttering wings,
blinking away the salted water that stings.
Oh, Guilt,
how quickly you mute these liar’s lungs,
how thoroughly you can tie that noose around my tongue.
I choke on the thought of speaking again,
yet I lack the motivation to confess with a poison pen.
Each time you reclaim control,
each time I let remorse take its toll,
I fear the durability of the strength I lack.
What if next time I’m not coming back?
But Guilt, oh Guilt,
what would I
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 2 0
Literature
Haven
Do you ever find yourself lost,
adrift within a desperate delusion?
A place where reality feels star-crossed
and logic is just a senseless illusion?
Is there some small part of you entranced
by that sea of blissful ignorance?
Maybe it’s the way your emotions danced
making you believe it’s something of importance.
What does it look like to you?
Is it a colourful paradise,
painted in grass, frosted by dew?
Is it a land as monotone as ice,
empty of all but empathy?
Or will any place suffice,
as long as you feel free?
Do you have a way to get in?
Someone or something to serve as your guide?
Are they the same as they’ve always been,
the one that always stood at your side?
How often do they take you to that place in mind?
Can you come and go at your own free will,
or is it excessively hard to find,
where you search far and wide yet can’t reach it still?
Did you catch nothing but a quick glance,
or have you submerged yourself fully,
letting that toxic holy water cast y
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 3 3
Literature
Over
Your heart’s racing faster
than your body should ever allow.
Those scars are spelling out disaster,
but it’s too late to go back now.
How long since I got you started?
Five minutes, twenty, an hour?
Far too long to live broken-hearted,
far too long to lose your willpower.
Focus on the euphoric pain,
let the burning in your thighs
fill that vanta void in your brain.
I know you’re used to the highs,
but I promise, if you just forget
all the limits you’ve established,
you’ll never have to regret
how you never counted those tablets.
Don’t doubt the decision you’ve made;
remember just three days before,
when your heart was mislaid;
when he didn’t love you anymore.
Don’t lose sight of what is real;
remember just three months ago,
when you thought you forgot how to feel,
when your mind reached that all time low.
Emotions are gold-coated chains,
shackling us to a world encased in flame.
Pain here is all that truly remains,
agony laced with
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 3 0
Mature content
Pennies :iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 3 0
Literature
Addict
I’ve always had a problem with addictions,
from unnatural highs to the worst afflictions.
Nothing ever helped quite as much as lying,
but those were lies you never seemed to be buying.
You’ve got the first half of the story right,
but I think by now I’ve turned that bark into a bite.
I was just trying to give my mind the upper hand,
but I think I’ve taken this a step further than I planned.
From day one you’ve been my painkiller,
but now you’re convinced you can be my cure.
I want this all to be over with, but I’m conflicted.
How can you fix this if I’m addicted to being addicted?
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 7 0
Literature
Just Once
I think there’s one thing I understand,
that “I” don’t truly exist anymore.
This isn’t really what I had planned,
but I stretched this lie until it’s seams tore.
I thought I finally found a way to feel right.
I let their emotions control mine;
I gave up my own will to fight,
now they’re all that matters in my mind.
I can’t change again, not like I’ve done before.
One more lie, I’ll be far too deep to come back.
I want someone to pick me up when I hit the floor;
I want you to pull me away and help me backtrack.
It’s always been hard for me to ask for comfort,
but I don’t want to see what I’ll become without you.
I know it would take time and effort,
but for once I need your help to make me new.
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 5 0
Literature
Liar
What does it take to be ‘real’?
I’ve been hiding behind all these fake personalities,
and by now I’ve forgotten how that feels;
I’ve lost myself in a list of mental casualties.
Who am I really, behind all these false faces?
I’ve tried prying them off one by one,
but every I tell myself I’ve found my true place,
I’m only making it harder to turn and run.
They’ve helped me out, though.
They’ve helped me realise who I’m meant to be.
Maybe I’d be better off if I didn’t know;
after all, who wouldn’t hate someone like me?
I’m a liar;
that’s what I’ve always been.
I’m not someone they should admire,
my whole personality is based on a sin.
I can’t even listen to a word I say.
It’s as if my heart and mind are constantly at war,
but the universe won’t let either get their way.
I don’t know which I can trust anymore.
I’ve lied to myself too many times,
I’
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 5 0
Literature
Different
You’re someone I’m meant to protect.
You’re not supposed to worry about me.
I know I can never be perfect,
but if it would help you, I wish I could be.
I’m supposed to be there for you,
not the other way around.
I don’t know what I should do;
you’re different from the others I’ve found.
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 2 2
Literature
False Thoughts
Would I even know if your breathing stopped?
Is our connection really that strong?
Is that why my heart just dropped?
No, that can’t be right. I’ve got this all wrong.
Would I be able to tell if your skin went cold?
Is that the numbness in my hands, or just poor circulation?
At least I would know if I had your’s here to hold.
Tell me you’re okay so I can calm this agitation.
Would I somehow notice the absence of your heartbeat?
Is that this sinking feeling in my stomach?
No, no, it’s too early for my mind to retreat;
I’m sure you’re fine, this is just my mind playing a trick.
Right?
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 4 4
Literature
Do You Believe in Me?
They kept telling you I’m not real.
I’m just a break in your dream’s seal.
I’m not the product of a hallucinogenic,
but they could call you a schizophrenic.
Too late, you’ve made the realisation,
I’m not a figment of your imagination.
I’ve already taken control of your mind;
she was the contract that you signed.
I’ve weaved my way into your heart.
Now I’m waiting to tear you apart.
You think she’s going to save you?
I think your logic is a bit askew.
She’s just a mindless puppet.
She’ll do whatever I see fit.
Is that really hard to believe?
Fine then, watch her leave.
--------------------------------------
You can’t trust what it has said.
It’s trying to mess with your head.
Nothing it said was true.
I would do anything for you.
If you can just wait a little while,
I’ll prove the world isn’t so vile.
I’ll right each and every wrong.
I’ll show you we still belong.
Look at me in th
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 5 0
Mature content
0 Miles :iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 1 0
Literature
We'll Last
I don’t think they understand
just what I would give
to hold your hand.
I think I might just need that to live.
You’re everything to me,
but that’s something they’ll never see.
This isn’t some stupid teenage crush,
we weren’t the product of some overnight rush.
But I guess that’s what any teen would say,
and of course, there’s no way
the two of us could be any different.
Teenager’s minds are bent.
We have the incapability
of making the right decision.
The two of us lasting is an impossibility;
we’re just a random chance collision.
I guess that’s what they want us to believe,
but now I’m dedicated to proving them wrong.
I’ll show them we can last long after they leave.
I know we’ll make it that far along.
But for now we just have to wait,
eventually they’ll come to learn
we are a product of fate,
and what’s between us will always burn.
I’m done with this suppression,
we’re our own
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 3 0
Literature
You Would Beat the Moon in a Pretty Contest
Have I ever told you
how much I love the moon?
I’ll stay out long past curfew,
begging her not to fall so soon.
The way her subtle light
illuminates the darkest nights
makes the world seem a bit more right.
I could watch her forever;
if only we could watch her together.
Do you have the faintest clue
how many times I’ve told the moon
how much I love you?
I know we fell so soon,
but the way your blinding light
drowns out my darkest nights
makes my whole world feel right.
And as long as we’re together,
I’ll have a reason to believe in forever.
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 2 2
Literature
Hello
I wonder if you know
I always leave my window unlocked,
just in case you need a place to go.
So don’t think I’d be shocked
if you ever came by just to say ‘hello’.
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 3 2
Literature
5.6 Miles
I know it’s not that long of a walk,
but right now all we can do is talk.
I need us to be face-to-face,
I need to be in your calming embrace,
and if I’m not holding you tight,
then you’re too far for things to be alright.
I just don’t want you to be alone.
Can’t someone just take me home?
I don’t care where we go,
and no, I don’t think I can wait for tomorrow.
Anywhere will do,
as long as I’m there with you.
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu
:iconpreciouspengu:preciouspengu 1 0

Favourites

Shutup and Listen by ToPpeRa-TPR Shutup and Listen :icontoppera-tpr:ToPpeRa-TPR 133 4 Commission by Shinyfurry Commission :iconshinyfurry:Shinyfurry 70 7 Madeira 09 by MatthiasHaltenhof Madeira 09 :iconmatthiashaltenhof:MatthiasHaltenhof 134 11 the birds by Andaelentari the birds :iconandaelentari:Andaelentari 66 16 Leo the Lion Zodiac Adopt {OPEN} by humble-abode Leo the Lion Zodiac Adopt {OPEN} :iconhumble-abode:humble-abode 68 14
Literature
Overlooked and Ignored - Poem
You speak
But you never stop to listen
You know
But never let me make suggestions
You disagree
But can't you at least tell me why?
You alone see
But apparently...
You're also the only one who's even permitted to try
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 14 9
Literature
You Make Me Complete
I need you more than the air I breathe
The water I drink
The food I eat
And the time I'm asleep
Because you make me complete
:iconWeird-and-Unique:Weird-and-Unique
:iconweird-and-unique:Weird-and-Unique 16 9
Literature
Tables Turned - Poem
Such sad sounds pierce the silence
Cut to the quick I am undone
Whoever caused this is a tyrant!
What is it? Please tell me what's wrong!
But when you hear the cries
See tears in eye
With all that rage what do you do?
When the villain who had caused the pain
Was none other than you
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 13 14
Literature
Irresistibly Drawn - Poem
You think you're independent
You think that you are free
But unlike how you intended
Your fate has tied tightly to me
Yes, you think you've no obligations
And that you can always do just as you please
But to your perplexion and frustration
I am the only cure... to your disease
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 13 4
Literature
Precious Moments - Poem
The world is silent
Still
Unmoved
Enrapt in quiet
So soft and smooth
Eyes blink slowly
And hearts relish the moment
For all too soon
Time sets things into motion
A split second precious
Gone but ever etched into memory
I will never forget this
An ever cherished addition to soul's treasury
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 14 15
Literature
On the Verge - Poem
I feel as though I could endure any sort hardship
If only this ache were gone and my emptiness were filled
I do my best but at my core I am lethargic
Everything's the same; I need a change; a little thrill...
My life it looks so perfect from the outside
But if I told it was not... would you be surprised?
I've got so much to be grateful for, but there's something missing; I need more
I try to be content but you see I don't know how to be
I don't think I can do this... I don't think I can do this anymore
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 12 19
Luna by travisankles Luna :icontravisankles:travisankles 3 12 U WANNA GO by travisankles U WANNA GO :icontravisankles:travisankles 7 1 LATTE by travisankles LATTE :icontravisankles:travisankles 4 13 WELP by travisankles WELP :icontravisankles:travisankles 8 5
Literature
flourishing fires
the heavy heat seares itself into the hellish landscape
the hollow charred skeletons of the forest threateningly loom over the ashy floor
falling white flakes softly drift filtering through the blackened branches  
smoke slithers amongst the soot and glowing embers spiraling skywards
the scorched land exhales painfully smoke saturated breaths
contaminating the summer air like a second hand smoke drenched bar
black cancerous patches proliferate and metastasize
fires consumes over a million acres of land in a single country
children are filled with fear at the sight of a kermes colored sun
I’m also filled with fear as I view the night sky’s apocalyptic atmosphere
aphrasia overhelms my ability to speak
as images of the striking crimson moon flood my eyes
a red haze swirls and licks at it’s edges
“the moon has turned to blood” in my lifetime
just as prophesized in Purvis’ song played by Armstrong
I read the moon like a crystal ball
the future seems
:iconemilywrites:emilywrites
:iconemilywrites:emilywrites 19 7

Groups

Pride

SHOW YOUR COLORS

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

Activity


I’ll leave my chest open for anything,
and I swear I haven’t attached any strings.
I’m waiting for the feeling they promised me,
yet still it hasn’t come to set me free.
They describe it a perfect and perpetual,
a desire we’ll both find mutual.
They describe it as benevolent butterflies,
a sensation better than any drug-induced highs.
Yet in the absence of this emotion,
I’m starting to get the notion
that I’ve lost my heart,
or maybe it just needs some kind of kickstart.
And in the absence of this form of love,
I feel like a raven changed from a dove.

But maybe there is nothing truly wrong with this;
maybe I’m meant to steal away without a kiss.
Because in the absence of my heart,
I leave room for other works of art,
and as long as I am not without a good friend,
my cycle of true love will never come to an end.
Why waste my time with what isn’t real,
searching for an emotion
which people like me were never meant to feel?
Absence
This is dedicated to a certain aromantic friend of mine who’s having a bit of trouble accepting that there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way they do.

Sexuality is not a choice, and sometimes one’s realisation of who they are can be devastating at first. Once upon a time I felt very similarly to how said person currently feels, just as many others have felt before and many will feel in the future. I hope this poem goes to open a few people’s eyes to the reality of the situation: just because you may lack or differ from some societal standards in areas such as feeling romantically or sexually attracted to people does not mean there is something ‘wrong’ with you. You are your own person, and you should allow yourself to portray the personality you were meant to have; don’t ever let anyone convince you that you need to change in order to fit a required personality.
Loading...
Oh, Guilt,
You are a blessing and a curse,
though I can’t tell which is truly worse.
You arrive at the worst of times,
turning my mind to those self-hate crimes.
You induce a state of humility
and erase all trace of tranquility.

Oh, Guilt,
with you my heart is in turmoil,
and I can feel stomach begin to boil.
I wonder if the acid hurts those butterflies,
making them rush past my throat and straight for my eyes.
With you my vision is a kaleidoscope,
diluting and distorting my last image of hope.
My eyelids must be their fluttering wings,
blinking away the salted water that stings.

Oh, Guilt,
how quickly you mute these liar’s lungs,
how thoroughly you can tie that noose around my tongue.
I choke on the thought of speaking again,
yet I lack the motivation to confess with a poison pen.
Each time you reclaim control,
each time I let remorse take its toll,
I fear the durability of the strength I lack.
What if next time I’m not coming back?

But Guilt, oh Guilt,
what would I be without Guilt?
You are the basis of this personality I’ve built.
Your absence is the absence of a heartbeat,
a moment of silence set on repeat.
Your absence is the absence of breath,
an air of both nothing and death.
Without you I am inhuman,
a shell of what I could have been.
Do you ever find yourself lost,
adrift within a desperate delusion?
A place where reality feels star-crossed
and logic is just a senseless illusion?
Is there some small part of you entranced
by that sea of blissful ignorance?
Maybe it’s the way your emotions danced
making you believe it’s something of importance.

What does it look like to you?
Is it a colourful paradise,
painted in grass, frosted by dew?
Is it a land as monotone as ice,
empty of all but empathy?
Or will any place suffice,
as long as you feel free?

Do you have a way to get in?
Someone or something to serve as your guide?
Are they the same as they’ve always been,
the one that always stood at your side?

How often do they take you to that place in mind?
Can you come and go at your own free will,
or is it excessively hard to find,
where you search far and wide yet can’t reach it still?
Did you catch nothing but a quick glance,
or have you submerged yourself fully,
letting that toxic holy water cast you into a trance?

And when those demons came to seal the entrance,
did you ever try to resist?
Did you feel each of your aching muscles tense,
could you feel your lungs crumple and twist?

And when it was over,
did it burn when your eyes bled copper salt,
leaving your vision nothing but a blurry haze?
Did you blame yourself as if it was all your fault,
or did you pass it off as a short-lived phase?
Your heart’s racing faster
than your body should ever allow.
Those scars are spelling out disaster,
but it’s too late to go back now.
How long since I got you started?
Five minutes, twenty, an hour?
Far too long to live broken-hearted,
far too long to lose your willpower.

Focus on the euphoric pain,
let the burning in your thighs
fill that vanta void in your brain.
I know you’re used to the highs,
but I promise, if you just forget
all the limits you’ve established,
you’ll never have to regret
how you never counted those tablets.

Don’t doubt the decision you’ve made;
remember just three days before,
when your heart was mislaid;
when he didn’t love you anymore.
Don’t lose sight of what is real;
remember just three months ago,
when you thought you forgot how to feel,
when your mind reached that all time low.

Emotions are gold-coated chains,
shackling us to a world encased in flame.
Pain here is all that truly remains,
agony laced with our incessant shame.
I told you, this is the only way to be free,
to escape this endless entrapment.
In the end, we never needed empathy.
Was the content really worth the torment?

It’s almost over; can you tell?
The last pills are taking effect,
soon they’ll cast their sleeping spell.
Too abrupt? Well, what did you expect?
Over
no comment
Loading...

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
I love that metallic taste coating my tongue
and the flesh-tainted air filling my lungs.
My eyes register nothing but blurred rainbows,
shifting to the rhythm of the fire’s faint glows.

The pain comes in aching waves like ecstasy,
one after the other, burning relentlessly.
Hurt it until I notice that copper taste,
like my mouth is suddenly penny-laced.

The marks are telling me to stop,
but this is a drug no other could top.
Press a little harder, hold it a little longer.
I won’t let it go numb, I have to be stronger.

I’ve got this obsession with self-medication,
and I’m not quite ready to drop this fixation.
Searing skin matched with each clean-cut scar;
am I really taking this too far?
Pennies
Well that escalated quickly.

Wasn't sure if I should mark this as mature, so I did it just in case. 
Loading...
I'm really tired
Freaking heck
Lookup thetirent89, he's a cool guy

He also stole my phone and is using it right now

deviantID

preciouspengu's Profile Picture
preciouspengu
Kat
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Heck
Profile pic credit to thetirent89 (:
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconqjsft:
qjsft Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch! :)
Reply
:iconrefield:
refield Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for considering CNN worthy of adding to your collection of favorites; may you never waste your bananas.

Please consider helping me go pro by visiting my WordPress!
If you like my stuff consider buying a thing!
Check out a free speech social media platform.
Reply
:iconhannaida:
HannaIDA Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2017
Thanks very much for the fave on Magia Naturalis! 💚
Reply
:iconbrokenstarsoul:
BrokenStarSoul Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2017
Thanks for the watch :)
Reply
:iconmerakieunoia:
MerakiEunoia Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the llama, have a wonderful day. :)
Reply
:iconhannaida:
HannaIDA Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2017
Thank you so much for the fav on Limoncello! 💛
Reply
:iconunknowngoalkeeper:
UnknownGoalkeeper Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for the watch!
Reply
:iconhannaida:
HannaIDA Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2017
Thank you very much for the Watch ❣️
Reply
:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2017   Writer
Hello (:

Thanks so much for adding me to your +devwatch! :heart:
Reply
Add a Comment: