Ode to Guilt
You are a blessing and a curse,
though I can’t tell which is truly worse.
You arrive at the worst of times,
turning my mind to those self-hate crimes.
You induce a state of humility
and erase all trace of tranquility.
with you my heart is in turmoil,
and I can feel stomach begin to boil.
I wonder if the acid hurts those butterflies,
making them rush past my throat and straight for my eyes.
With you my vision is a kaleidoscope,
diluting and distorting my last image of hope.
My eyelids must be their fluttering wings,
blinking away the salted water that stings.
how quickly you mute these liar’s lungs,
how thoroughly you can tie that noose around my tongue.
I choke on the thought of speaking again,
yet I lack the motivation to confess with a poison pen.
Each time you reclaim control,
each time I let remorse take its toll,
I fear the durability of the strength I lack.
What if next time I’m not coming back?
But Guilt, oh Guilt,
what would I